SPONTANEOUS!

Spontaneous. A word I'd like to describe myself. No more arguing please :)

I'm spontaneous when speaking, doing something, but not typing. Lol.

Being spontaneous makes me not regret anything I will do for the next things I won't remember that much. What I will remember is the fact that

I did it and I did not regret it.






See this pic?


I typed in "spontaneous" and this was the pic that first caught my eye. I didn't hesitate to post it because it had exactly what being spontaneous is. It also represents a great genre of music. A spontaneous one that's for sure. Jazz Music.


Damn... be right back... mag-aasin daw ng isda. haha

So As I was saying, Jazz Music is Spontaneous.
Just like in life, we are the the players, and we play our best music in life.
Take Jazz music and muscicians for example. Jazz is just so spontaneous, upbeat and sometimes never ending.  That never ending upbeat music is just so great to hear. Those horn players, drums, base, piano, they do their best to play great music together. Even if one messes up, it doesn't ruin the music unless they just stop. And if they do mess up, they just pick up where they left and just go with the flow. If I was the one who would mess up, I'd just blow my horn louder and better to make up for my lost notes. Do you get what I'm tryig to say here?

Now a question, what about being hesitant?
Heck, being hesitant is just fine. But being clever on-the-spot makes you even better. Yes, we have to think of the consequences, but if you want to be spontaneous most of the time, it doesn't only concern what you''ll get and not regret but also how you will face the consequences. Here's a trick, if you're honest in what you do, you have a great chance of overcoming those consequences after. It also goes the same when you're doing something you don't regret. You have the confidence to overcome those consequences no matter how hard it will be because you didn't do something you wouldn't like nor regret.

Being nervous is just normal, just trust in God, and go for it. Everything will just be fine as long as you don't give up. The music will continue as long as you don't stop. If you do your best each and everyday good things are sure to come your way.

But remeber, what you want, isn't exactly what you need. They all know what they wanted. What they wanted- "need" to do.
They gotta dig a little deeper, find out who they are, they'll find out what they need. Not all our wants would make us happy. Our needs will.

If you're worrying about being in a new environment, don't worry, be yourself.
What you want is probably the same crazy group your previous friends were. But I suppose what you'll need are those who'd understand you just like how your other friends did.
For me, I really want to download that movie of K-ON! already, but what would really make me happy is that family bonding with our newly met cousins I've been waiting for a week or maybe a nice looong talk and games with my friends.

Unexplained feelings.

 These words are stuck to my head.

Today was the 1st and most boring day of my summer. Boring as it started, because of these songs it made me go back to my old self.
These songs really hit me every time I hear them. They make me realize and think of a lot of things in this world.  Basically, it made me reflect about a lot of things in my life. Especially my times of sorrow and trouble.

I often dream about a character with a deep wound in the past. The irony is, I myself never have experienced what I dream about. It's confusing, I know. But to be clear, maybe, I just wanted to have scars in life like those too. Even if I do though, I probably don't know about it because I let them go so easily or forget about it so easily because I was so afraid to be self-pitiful.

I have no clear point in this post right now. I want to have one though, because I think there's a lot to say. Today just felt different not because of the boredom, but because of the impact it made on me today by these songs. To be honest, while listening to this for a couple of times already, it makes me want to cry for some reason.

And then guess what, just by typing this, it gave me a sense of relief. And while typing this, I just found out the answer to my question. I wanted to keep it a secret but I can't. Now I just need to find out how I would put this answer into words and then I'd tell.

Sayonara? Why does it have to be a SAYONARA?

As everybody knows. or should know. Sayonara is used when saying goodbye to someone you're pretty much sure you won't see for a long long time.

Last night, I stopped on one of my ridiculous but inspiring stories inside my head. This story though, I included for the first time a real life friend of mine. I know that that someone, will be, is, should be reading this.

In the story I had a lot of secrets that I never planned to tell anybody but my friend. In the story my friend was the only one I opened up to, and the only one I told my deep secrets about. I'll stop there.

The thing I realized was, if that person ever leaves, I wouldn't know what to do. With my deep secrets, my thoughts about something, and a lot of things, who am I going to tell now? My friend knew me the best, understood me the best, and to be honest, the one friend I have shown my greatest interest without ever being shy about it. My friend was like my sister you know? And I love her very much. Like family.

We met during my 3rd grade along with my other childhood friend. I can't remember much of it though, how we met or how we got along. After 3rd grade we didn't get to be classmates again. During my sophomore year though, we once again became classmates. At first I didn't like it, thinking that our great friendship would be ruined if we ever got to see each other everyday in class because I already got used to us not being classmates and having different experiences in class.

For this junior year, we won't be classmates again. I know that for sure. It breaks my heart to finally accept the fact that they have to move not only where they live, but also where she would study. What am I going to do now?

Last night, since she was part of my story, I wanted to ask her about something. After saying hi, it came to me suddenly then I told her to not leave. She said she was sorry because the last time we'd probably see her again would be on her birthday. They will be moving after then. Her birthday was this month! When they move, who will I go to next? And you'll know pretty much what I mean.

I told her that it was depressing and it really was. Even if it was just a short conversation it really was. Then I wanted to log out immediately and go to sleep and I did. If you're reading this, boy you're in trouble when I get to you on your birthday because I cried. Yeah I cried. My nose got so stuffed I told myself, I will only breath through my nose no matted how hard it is for me. And If I'm still alive and still breathing through my stuffy nose. Fine I will accept it with no more arguments.

I never wanted to trouble anybody because of my selfish wish to make my friend stay. It would trouble the parents whom she didn't argue with as well. If you're so shallow not understanding why nobody argued, it's because her parents went all the trouble finding a new house they could afford, papers, errands and more. I didn't want to trouble my friend anymore as well because she's already made up her mind and I do respect that.

 And the thing is, I did wake up and I know for sure I didn't cheat by breathing through my mouth. I'm keeping my promise and will argue no more. Need I say more? Got nothing anymore though. But I'm pretty sure I'll miss my friend when they leave.