under construction...

this is still in though, I was in sleepy mode and review.
@sam; keep in mind the month's update for previous incident

ALRIGHT! OH NO! :O oh man, I miss them :'(

Finally! I  finally found this site again. I haven't been able to keep updates since the page cannot be found. Just a while ago I tried using my PC and since it was bookmarked here, I finally got to the page again. Yaay.

My summer ended with lots of disappointing events.
First but not really big, I wasn't able to finish my current anime or manga. It bothers me not knowing the ending. But I guess it's better so I could have something to do in boredom.
Second, my lack of outings. Self-explanatory.
Third, my PC still has this ANNOYING virus which won't go away.

And fourth and the most deadly, finding out that I was separated from my childhood friends and barkada.
It has really got me down ever since the first day. I was really off my usual happy go lucky mood. And just the fact that I miss all of them so much it really annoys me and makes me not go to school even more.
Ever since I was in that different atmosphere, I could say I can still smile, laugh and joke around, but the cheerfulness the "boring and silent" atmosphere my friends in that class gives to the teachers and other students, is more and something other people nor teachers would understand at all. I've know them for years and even though they're like that, it's actually fun being around weird people. Yes they're weird, being in my class now I could actually say they are. I'm not excluding myself though, I'm really weird too. And the weirdness of theirs is really comforting for me, and now I miss it. Really badly.

So I'm now aiming not for Top1 now, I'm aiming for an honor. I know I raised the bars too high, but I just feel that I can do it, more like I want to and need to make it to that standard. The only way that can make me feel certain that I could go back to my home in school. I know they say that it's better to be out of our comfort zone. Going back to my old class isn't going back to my comfort zone because I think that studying hard (yes, it different from my usual self) is going out of my comfort zone.

When I thought about it, I've always thought I was one of those who were good in the class. Being transferred to a SECOND?! class made me realize I'm not. Now I have to prove them wrong, prove to them that transferring me to a SECOND?! class was a big. BIG mistake.

 Then I accidentally made a rhyme on it. Remember my situation, to keep my motivation.

I need to keep myself from slacking off this year. I need to make it big time. Because just thinking about staying? in the class I'm in now (no offense, they're actually really active) is not a pleasant thought. And I don't mean being in any other class, but I'd prefer the one where my loved barkada are and as well as my childhood friends are in.

To be honest, it really makes me happy and smile inside and out whenever I hear them telling me to go back to their class already. I really feel that not only my barkada are waiting for me, but as well as my loved classmates. :')

Phew finally got that out of my chest. Writing paragraphs like these really takes the stress out of me.

P.S. I'd really like to remember how to make cranes again. I wanna help out too.
And teacher's are so demanding.

QUARTER POUNDER!

Last night, I dreamed of eating  one of McDonald's Quarter Pounder

Then I woke up realizing it was only a dream I immediately asked my mom if I could go and actually buy one. It took some time since they all wanted to go. But we did get to go, then when I finally got to buy one, they gave a change of 70pesos which would mean the coke, the fries and the burger were only 30pesos. AMAZING O.O

As I ate half of my burger, I wanted to brag it that I finally got to eat when suddenly..

I woke up again =.= DAAAMN it. Then I realized my hands were like holding a burger in the air. What was missing was the burger. So I went out of bed early just to ask the name of the burger even though I kept looking for one in my dream. I really wanted to eat one so I did.


I went to my optometrist early to get my new glasses and then headed straight to McDonald's only to find out they weren't serving any yet D: They were still on breakfast D8<
But in the end I was so happy I got to buy one. ^^

They are cute :)

Recently been watching anime non-stop. And I just really need to share the couples I'm currently been addicted to. They are just so cute and they make me feel being in a relationship like theirs is so fun. Because by the way, I'm not the mushy type. And these couples sow what I mean. (Well some of them do.)

Anyway.... I'll explain more next time. Just made this as an Excuse (:

SPONTANEOUS!

Spontaneous. A word I'd like to describe myself. No more arguing please :)

I'm spontaneous when speaking, doing something, but not typing. Lol.

Being spontaneous makes me not regret anything I will do for the next things I won't remember that much. What I will remember is the fact that

I did it and I did not regret it.






See this pic?


I typed in "spontaneous" and this was the pic that first caught my eye. I didn't hesitate to post it because it had exactly what being spontaneous is. It also represents a great genre of music. A spontaneous one that's for sure. Jazz Music.


Damn... be right back... mag-aasin daw ng isda. haha

So As I was saying, Jazz Music is Spontaneous.
Just like in life, we are the the players, and we play our best music in life.
Take Jazz music and muscicians for example. Jazz is just so spontaneous, upbeat and sometimes never ending.  That never ending upbeat music is just so great to hear. Those horn players, drums, base, piano, they do their best to play great music together. Even if one messes up, it doesn't ruin the music unless they just stop. And if they do mess up, they just pick up where they left and just go with the flow. If I was the one who would mess up, I'd just blow my horn louder and better to make up for my lost notes. Do you get what I'm tryig to say here?

Now a question, what about being hesitant?
Heck, being hesitant is just fine. But being clever on-the-spot makes you even better. Yes, we have to think of the consequences, but if you want to be spontaneous most of the time, it doesn't only concern what you''ll get and not regret but also how you will face the consequences. Here's a trick, if you're honest in what you do, you have a great chance of overcoming those consequences after. It also goes the same when you're doing something you don't regret. You have the confidence to overcome those consequences no matter how hard it will be because you didn't do something you wouldn't like nor regret.

Being nervous is just normal, just trust in God, and go for it. Everything will just be fine as long as you don't give up. The music will continue as long as you don't stop. If you do your best each and everyday good things are sure to come your way.

But remeber, what you want, isn't exactly what you need. They all know what they wanted. What they wanted- "need" to do.
They gotta dig a little deeper, find out who they are, they'll find out what they need. Not all our wants would make us happy. Our needs will.

If you're worrying about being in a new environment, don't worry, be yourself.
What you want is probably the same crazy group your previous friends were. But I suppose what you'll need are those who'd understand you just like how your other friends did.
For me, I really want to download that movie of K-ON! already, but what would really make me happy is that family bonding with our newly met cousins I've been waiting for a week or maybe a nice looong talk and games with my friends.

Unexplained feelings.

 These words are stuck to my head.

Today was the 1st and most boring day of my summer. Boring as it started, because of these songs it made me go back to my old self.
These songs really hit me every time I hear them. They make me realize and think of a lot of things in this world.  Basically, it made me reflect about a lot of things in my life. Especially my times of sorrow and trouble.

I often dream about a character with a deep wound in the past. The irony is, I myself never have experienced what I dream about. It's confusing, I know. But to be clear, maybe, I just wanted to have scars in life like those too. Even if I do though, I probably don't know about it because I let them go so easily or forget about it so easily because I was so afraid to be self-pitiful.

I have no clear point in this post right now. I want to have one though, because I think there's a lot to say. Today just felt different not because of the boredom, but because of the impact it made on me today by these songs. To be honest, while listening to this for a couple of times already, it makes me want to cry for some reason.

And then guess what, just by typing this, it gave me a sense of relief. And while typing this, I just found out the answer to my question. I wanted to keep it a secret but I can't. Now I just need to find out how I would put this answer into words and then I'd tell.

Sayonara? Why does it have to be a SAYONARA?

As everybody knows. or should know. Sayonara is used when saying goodbye to someone you're pretty much sure you won't see for a long long time.

Last night, I stopped on one of my ridiculous but inspiring stories inside my head. This story though, I included for the first time a real life friend of mine. I know that that someone, will be, is, should be reading this.

In the story I had a lot of secrets that I never planned to tell anybody but my friend. In the story my friend was the only one I opened up to, and the only one I told my deep secrets about. I'll stop there.

The thing I realized was, if that person ever leaves, I wouldn't know what to do. With my deep secrets, my thoughts about something, and a lot of things, who am I going to tell now? My friend knew me the best, understood me the best, and to be honest, the one friend I have shown my greatest interest without ever being shy about it. My friend was like my sister you know? And I love her very much. Like family.

We met during my 3rd grade along with my other childhood friend. I can't remember much of it though, how we met or how we got along. After 3rd grade we didn't get to be classmates again. During my sophomore year though, we once again became classmates. At first I didn't like it, thinking that our great friendship would be ruined if we ever got to see each other everyday in class because I already got used to us not being classmates and having different experiences in class.

For this junior year, we won't be classmates again. I know that for sure. It breaks my heart to finally accept the fact that they have to move not only where they live, but also where she would study. What am I going to do now?

Last night, since she was part of my story, I wanted to ask her about something. After saying hi, it came to me suddenly then I told her to not leave. She said she was sorry because the last time we'd probably see her again would be on her birthday. They will be moving after then. Her birthday was this month! When they move, who will I go to next? And you'll know pretty much what I mean.

I told her that it was depressing and it really was. Even if it was just a short conversation it really was. Then I wanted to log out immediately and go to sleep and I did. If you're reading this, boy you're in trouble when I get to you on your birthday because I cried. Yeah I cried. My nose got so stuffed I told myself, I will only breath through my nose no matted how hard it is for me. And If I'm still alive and still breathing through my stuffy nose. Fine I will accept it with no more arguments.

I never wanted to trouble anybody because of my selfish wish to make my friend stay. It would trouble the parents whom she didn't argue with as well. If you're so shallow not understanding why nobody argued, it's because her parents went all the trouble finding a new house they could afford, papers, errands and more. I didn't want to trouble my friend anymore as well because she's already made up her mind and I do respect that.

 And the thing is, I did wake up and I know for sure I didn't cheat by breathing through my mouth. I'm keeping my promise and will argue no more. Need I say more? Got nothing anymore though. But I'm pretty sure I'll miss my friend when they leave.